Paula A. Ainsworth

Paula A. Ainsworth (nee Drake), 72, of West Chester, OH passed away peacefully on Saturday, November 20, 2021 after battling lung cancer and heart failure. Paula was born in Colorado Springs, CO to Paul and Barbara Drake.  She was a graduate of Sterling High School in Sterling, CO, and went on to earn a Bachelor of Arts in Elementary Education from University of Northern Colorado (formerly Colorado State College).  She lived her adult years in Sterling CO, Rapid City SD, Phoenix AZ and West Chester, OH.

It is said that people won’t remember what a person did or said, but they will remember how that person made them feel.  Paula was a person who treated those she encountered with unconditional positive regard, or at the very least with deferential politeness.  She thought deeply and critically, spoke economically yet powerfully, and her counsel was wise and always based on her core values of doing as much good as possible, avoiding harm whenever you can, being a decent person and taking care of others.

Foundational to Paula was how she experienced meaning in life through her service to others.   This was never done with grand sweeping gestures, but rather, she focused on and figured out the details and dug in to make improvements wherever she could.  In her professional roles, in which she served most frequently as an executive assistant, she was a valuable member of the leadership teams of her various organizations.  In Sterling, CO she served on the board of directors for the Help for Abused Partners domestic shelter, yet not satisfied with a titular role, she was also a member of the Crises Response Team and actively assisted families in need, in real time.

And of course, she continued to demonstrate this trait in all other aspects of her life as a partner, mother, sibling and neighbor.  Here, too, she saw her role as a lubricator of the machinery of everyday life and she would ironically refer to herself as an enabler, accompanied with a giggle and wry smile.  It is impossible to list all the ways she made life easier for others, both the mundane and profound.

Paula was a dignified and proud woman, but not an elitist nor self-centered. She took endless delight in her granddaughters, of whom she was amazed and proud simply because they “are” and not necessarily because of anything they did.  She loved them deeply as individuals and had a special bond with each.  Similarly, Paula’s relationship with her children was central to her, just as it was to her daughter and son.  This was as pure and simple a bond as could exist, free of any of the complexities that can often mark the parent-child relationship, a testament to her patience, open-mindedness and acceptance of her children, wherever they were in life.  Never pushy nor directive, she would simply listen and ask thought-provoking questions until a pathway forward revealed itself. Referring to Paula as the matriarch and heart of the family woefully understates her role.  She was the gravitational center, a position she neither acknowledged nor one with which she would be comfortable.  Paula’s love was never earned, she simply gave it to her family and friends free of strings or expectations.

Later in her life, Paula found great joy with her long-time partner, Ron McNeil.  She and Ron traveled near and far to model and toy shows, on bird watching adventures, or sometimes just to get away.  They shared a love of old movies, classical music, cribbage, and simple quiet moments of being together.

Paula enjoyed many activities.  She loved watching the Cincinnati Reds and continued to subtly root for the players, even after they left the team.  She was a crafty and skilled card player, both with family and at the blackjack table.  She was a voracious reader, an incredible storyteller, and she loved to sit outside, smoke a cigarette, and watch the birds in the yard.  She loved to knit the most; it was a tremendous source of comfort and joy to Paula.  Besides passing time and keeping her hands busy, knitting was another way to be of service and to provide a physical manifestation of the warmth she had to give.  This was a powerful and concrete notion for her; for example, she refused to knit if she was in a saddened state of mind, saying that she didn’t want those feelings to be woven into her pieces.  Hundreds of recipients of hats, scarves, sweaters, and blankets still feel that warmth and love.

A giver until the end, when her hair was falling out from cancer treatment, she would stand outside in the sun, pulling strands of it from her head and watching as the wind took it away.  She hoped that perhaps birds would use it for their nests.  Among her last words – Paula asked her attendant family members – how was your day?  Paula was an amazing woman.

Paula was the wife of the late Edward Ainsworth and later the dedicated and long-time companion of Ron McNeil.  She was the cherished, loving mother of Holly Cassidy (William, Andrew, and Laura Van Alsten) and Scott Horkey (Kristi Tlustos, Nico and Aubrie Smith).  She was the beloved grandmother of Elise and Allison Horkey, and Abigail and Kenna Cassidy.  Paula dearly loved her siblings Charles W. Drake and the late Cynthia L. Luther, her nephew, Lucas T. Brown and his family.

A celebration of Paula’s life will be held when the birds, blooms, and Reds return in the Spring of 2022.

To share a story or send a condolence, visit Muellerfuneral.com  513-398-9100